Les pro en anglais pouvez vous m'aider?

[khamala]

voila, j'ai un devoir de 300 motas a rendre pour mon partiel d'anglais
je l'ai écrit un peu trop vite à mon gout et je craind qu'il y ai des erreurs pouvez vous m'aider à les corriger
mirci beaucoup





1rst part :Imagine learning and teaching in the year 2030. What consequences, development advantages drawbacks do you predict ? (300 mots +/- 10%)


Nowadays, pupils and students teaching concist in learning by heart anusefull knowledges which will be quickly forgotten. However thoses teaching belong to each one’s géneral culture, which is necessary to allowed us to built our own point of view about our world.

For 2030, I imagine un system which will privilege the research ability, thanks to a personnal information collecter. This new technology would be abble to reccord the contents of al magazines, book, articles....which had been riden attentively by the pupil. En consequence, to prepare an exam, the student will have to choose, cleverly, his documentation. During the tes,t the pupil will be allowed to consult his information collecter.

But what’s about teachers? They will have to help students to devellop their research abilities. Moreover, they still will have to teach subjects like mathematics, physique...Infact all subjects which needs more than knowledges. Teachers will have to pass writing, reading abilities and stranger languages( which need pratice and learning by heart).Teachers will also have to write and correct examination papers.

In detail, how does this technology will work? The information collecter will be all the time connected to an anormous internet data base, which will contain all books, magazines, written papers which exist. Before reading a book , the user will have to fix electrodes to his head to measure his concentration. A the end of his reading, the pupil will have to pass the scanner of the information collecter on a spécific bar code, printed at the end of each page , article....Then, the whole of the document will be automaticly record in the user’s internet data base .

Positive point: This system will encourage pupils to read a lot and attentively , to choose cleverly their documentations in order to have enough information to succed in their exam
Negative point: fist one :this systeme need to be proctect against informantic virus and piracy
Second one : this system is very expenssive to put on.

[khamala]

upupupupupupup................ ....

[gharbaoui]

Envoyé par khamala upupupupupupup................ ....

à quoi cela sert t'il de le faire faire par d'autres si ce n'ets te simplifier la vie et non de qualifier dans la vie

[khamala]

Envoyé par gharbaoui à quoi cela sert t'il de le faire faire par d'autres si ce n'ets te simplifier la vie et non de qualifier dans la vie

j'ai pas le temps de m'y pencher plus j'ai d'autres matieres à reviser de plus en anglais je me débrouille assez bien pour etre capable de tenir une conversation hamdoulilah honnetement pour ce à quoi je me destine inch Allah ça suffit.
En ce qui concerne ce devoir je me suis fixé la barre tres hauts car mes idées sont assez difficile à expliquer même en français
bref tu peux m'aider ou pas ?

[lizzie911]

Voilà je t'ai corrigé le texte, il y avait pas mal de petites fautes, je pense que tu peux encore améliorer mais là je me suis contentée de corriger les tournures, la grammaire et la conjugaison, si quelqu'un peut proposer mieux mar7ba bih !


Nowadays, for pupils and students, studies consist in learning by heart a useful knowledge which will be quickly forgotten. However those teaching belong to everyone’s general culture, which is necessary to allow us to build our own point of view about our world.

For 2030, I imagine a system which will prioritize research ability, thanks to a personal information gatherer. This new technology would be able to record the contents of all magazines, book, articles....which would have carefully been read by the pupil. As a result, the student will have to choose his documentation cleverly to prepare an exam. During the test the pupil will be allowed to consult his information gatherer.

And what about teachers? They will have to help students develop their research abilities. Moreover, they still will have to teach subjects like mathematics, physics... In fact all subjects which need more than general knowledge. Teachers will have to pass writing, reading abilities and foreign languages (which need much practice and learning by heart).They will also have to write and correct examination papers.

How will this technology work in detail? The information gatherer will be connected all the time to a huge internet data base, which contains all books, magazines, written papers that exist. Before reading a book, the user will have to fix electrodes to his head to measure his concentration. A the end of his reading, the pupil will have to pass the scanner of the information gatherer on a specific bar code, printed at the end of each page, article etc. Then, the whole document will be automatically recorded in the user’s internet data base.

Positive point: This system will encourage pupils to read a lot and attentively, to choose cleverly their documentations in order to have enough information to succeed in their exam
Negative point: First of all, this system needs to be protected against viruses and piracy. Secondly, it is very expensive to carry out.

[khamala]

Envoyé par lizzie911 Voilà je t'ai corrigé le texte, il y avait pas mal de petites fautes, je pense que tu peux encore améliorer mais là je me suis contentée de corriger les tournures, la grammaire et la conjugaison, si quelqu'un peut proposer mieux mar7ba bih ! Nowadays, for pupils and students, studies consist in learning by heart a useful knowledge which will be quickly forgotten. However those teaching belong to everyone’s general culture, which is necessary to allow us to build our own point of view about our world. For 2030, I imagine a system which will prioritize research ability, thanks to a personal information gatherer. This new technology would be able to record the contents of all magazines, book, articles....which would have carefully been read by the pupil. As a result, the student will have to choose his documentation cleverly to prepare an exam. During the test the pupil will be allowed to consult his information gatherer. And what about teachers? They will have to help students develop their research abilities. Moreover, they still will have to teach subjects like mathematics, physics... In fact all subjects which need more than general knowledge. Teachers will have to pass writing, reading abilities and foreign languages (which need much practice and learning by heart).They will also have to write and correct examination papers. How will this technology work in detail? The information gatherer will be connected all the time to a huge internet data base, which contains all books, magazines, written papers that exist. Before reading a book, the user will have to fix electrodes to his head to measure his concentration. A the end of his reading, the pupil will have to pass the scanner of the information gatherer on a specific bar code, printed at the end of each page, article etc. Then, the whole document will be automatically recorded in the user’s internet data base. Positive point: This system will encourage pupils to read a lot and attentively, to choose cleverly their documentations in order to have enough information to succeed in their exam Negative point: First of all, this system needs to be protected against viruses and piracy. Secondly, it is very expensive to carry out.

barraka Allahou fik de tout coeur dit moi honnetement mon niveau tu en pense quoi?
et mon idée .?

[AL motawakil]

Envoyé par khamala barraka Allahou fik de tout coeur dit moi honnetement mon niveau tu en pense quoi? et mon idée .?

salam

je pense que tu peux faire mieux



car je ne comprends pas l'anglais

[lizzie911]

Envoyé par khamala barraka Allahou fik de tout coeur dit moi honnetement mon niveau tu en pense quoi? et mon idée .?

Ben en fait il y avait des mots écrits en français dans le texte, j'ai trouvé ça bizarre et beaucoup de verbes à la 3ème personne du singulier sans le S à la fin... Disons que tu peux mieux faire

Sinon pour ton idée étant donné que 2030 c'est dans 23 ans maintenant je doute que l'apprentissage évolue de cette façon mais les étudiants auront la vie cool quand même lol
C'est intéressant j'aurais jamais pensé à ça tant que tu argumentes finalement tu peux écrire ce que tu veux, c'est à la guise de l'imaginaire !!!!!!!!

[khamala]

merci pour vos conseils je tacherais de m'ameliorer inch Allah

[sososonia]

ha lala si seulement on nous demander de faire des traductions ds mon bts ca serait le top!!
mais bon ils ont choisi de nous traumatiser en anglais en bts tourisme !!